sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize