U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
