Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
