I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
