K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You've changed since you got that strap on
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
