Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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