I can tuck mytits in my pants
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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