Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
