He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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