please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize