I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
