oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize