my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
