My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
