Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
