Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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