I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
