You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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