Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
