I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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