That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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