Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
