Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wish there were birth control emojis
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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