The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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