Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
