Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize