Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
