but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
