I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
