3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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