he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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