WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
