I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
