Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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