just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
