i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize