Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he thought i was a dude.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
