This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
