I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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