You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
