it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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