Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize