is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he thought i was a dude.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
