eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
