it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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