Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
