i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Come on in and take your pants off
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