I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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