He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
