She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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