Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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