Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
