I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
