there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
