Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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