Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize