The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
