No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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