dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
