i just wanna soil my oats bro
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
