Porn is love you can see.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
