That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
