when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
