How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
