$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
