Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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