id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
