so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
