SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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