i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
