Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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