in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
