I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is my gift to your gina
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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