Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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