remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
