Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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