She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
