I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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