So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
