I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
