i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
