Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
