Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
